Written by 8:10 pm SheHandlesIt Mindset • 7 Comments

Deeper Into the Mindset

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Most of life is outside our control. One thing we can change is how we view these circumstances, situations, issues, and solutions. Our mindset controls our view on life. 

Glass Half Empty vs Half Full

Essentially this is pessimism versus optimism. The difficulty comes when you are floating somewhere right in the middle, on the cusp of becoming full or empty. When you find yourself here, in the middle, what direction do you lean? 

You Have a Choice.

The critical thing to remember is that you can change your mindset, but you have to work at it. You have to be consistent. You have to be willing to backslide but then rebound. You have to be willing to try every day and remind yourself why. This goes for your personal life as well as your professional life.

Losing a Loved One 

No one ever wants to see someone they care about pass on, but it’s part of life. Some people mourn while others celebrate life once lived. 

A celebration of life doesn’t mean you don’t miss that individual or you’re not saddened by the fact that they are no longer here; what it does mean is instead of feeling like you’ve been wronged, you choose to celebrate the life that that person lived. The time you had with them was valuable.

Facing Setback

Let’s say you’re getting ready to launch a new business, and an investor drops out at the last moment. It’s easy to feel like giving up, like the effort isn’t worth the outcome. What if instead you felt thankful you didn’t get into bed with an investor who was willing to drop out so quickly. 

Maybe you dodged a bullet.

I talk about the mindset with my sister regularly; we’ve both been on a journey to discover the best versions of ourselves. Our mindsets have been a big piece of that. We’ve experienced so many ups and downs along the way.

One thing we know for sure is that we want to be able to control how those situations affect us. How they make us move forward instead of being frozen in time or fear. 

My Recent Challenge

I recently underwent a separation/divorce that put my mindset to the test.There was a short period where I felt lost, like I didn’t know who I was. It didn’t take me long to remind myself of the SheHandlesIt mindset. If there was ever a time I needed it, this was it.. 

My New Future

Instead of worrying about what was lost, I found myself starting to plan what my new future could look like. I focused on what I wanted for my children, for myself, and what I could do to accomplish that.

Through this process, I found a level of happiness I didn’t think was possible. I found strength I didn’t know I had — I found freedom I didn’t think I needed. 

It’s much easier to fall into a negative state of mind. To feel sorry for yourself or feel like a victim. Instead, you should acknowledge what’s going on and make a plan for what’s next. Let me share some tips that have worked in my life. 

  1. Create a pros and cons list. List out what’s good and bad about any decision you need to make. 
  2. Dissect the Cons. For example, one con of going through a separation is making sure that you’re financially stable to support yourself. Instead of feeling stuck, make a plan to secure financial freedom. Maybe it’s getting a second job, perhaps it’s selling assets, or perhaps it’s cutting out frivolous spending.  
  3. Take advantage of the positive. Take your pros list and use it as an affirmation. Using the separation example, if one of your pros is having full control of the TV, pick up that remote and smile.
  4. Make a new goal for yourself based on your unique situation. Give yourself something to look forward to and work at. This attitude  will keep you from falling into a rut and thinking about what could’ve been. Don’t fall victim to your circumstance. 
  5. Move the hell on. Whether you are dealing with a situation at work or in your personal life, there is absolutely no benefit in dwelling on the negative. It will not resolve the problem; it will not help you discover solutions; it will only keep you stuck exactly where you are. 

This Isn’t Looking for a Silver Lining

It’s more about learning how to take a negative situation and evolve it into a positive outcome. This takes work, you need to understand both sides of the situation. 

I cannot stress enough how important it is to focus on the pros and how you can turn the negatives into positives.

However, please keep in mind that you can’t just focus on the positive; you have to be willing to acknowledge the negative. Only focusing on the good doesn’t make the bad disappear. Ignoring this can very quickly cause more issues and further hardship. Work on a plan to change it. 

The SheHandlesIt mindset knows you can handle any situation that comes your way. You can overcome anything as long as you are willing to learn from the negative and focus on the positive.

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Last modified: June 1, 2022

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