A few nights ago, I found myself gathered around a bonfire with my family after my niece’s wedding.
We were laughing, swapping stories, and soaking in the warmth of a Florida evening. It was one of those rare, soul-filling moments that you don’t plan—they just happen.
And as I sat there, I realized something: not long ago, I wouldn’t have been fully present for it.
I would have been half-listening, glued to my phone, spiraling over missed emails or what might be falling apart at work. There was always a crisis—real or imagined—demanding my attention.
I was addicted to the adrenaline of “fixing it,” always ten steps ahead, always trying to control the outcome.
But here’s what I’ve learned:
You cannot live in crisis mode and expect to find peace.
There Is No Such Thing as Perfect Balance
We hear a lot about “work-life balance,” but I’ve come to believe that balance is a myth. Life isn’t some perfectly measured scale. It’s messy. It’s seasonal.
Some days will demand more from work, others from family, and trying to keep everything “even” all the time will only leave you burnt out and anxious.
What’s helped me is integration. Knowing when to lean into one part of life and when to shift. Giving myself permission to toggle. Most importantly, learning to anchor myself in the present moment.
“Realize deeply that the present moment is all you ever have.”
—Eckhart Tolle, The Power of Now
The Present Moment is Where Peace Lives
When my mind is consumed by what might happen next week, next month, or even tomorrow, that’s when anxiety creeps in.
But when I root myself in the present—what’s right in front of me—I can breathe. I can think clearly.
I can make the next right move, instead of trying to predict or prevent every possible scenario.
Anxiety, I’ve realized, is often just a side effect of trying to control the uncontrollable. The “what ifs” are endless.
What if the client leaves? What if I disappoint someone? What if it doesn’t work out?
But here’s the truth:
The future isn’t yours to control.
All you can manage is what’s right in front of you. The next email. The next conversation. The next deep breath.
Let Go of the Need to Control Everything
Mel Robbins says it best in her concept of “Let Them.”
If someone wants to misunderstand you? Let them.
If someone doubts your abilities? Let them.
If life isn’t going your way? Let it.
You do not have to fix everything. Most of the time, it’s not even about you. We waste so much energy trying to shape other people’s opinions, prevent every possible problem, and micromanage outcomes that haven’t even happened yet.
It’s exhausting—and it steals our joy.
Stop Chasing Perfection. Start Chasing Presence.
Trying to hold everything together—being the “Superwoman” at work and the perfect partner, parent, or friend at home—isn’t just unrealistic.
It’s unhealthy. Real growth and peace come when we let go of perfection and lean into presence.
Because when we are present, we show up better. We speak with more clarity. We connect more deeply. We become our truest selves.
There’s a quote I once read that stuck with me:
“Depression lives in the past. Anxiety lives in the future. Peace lives in the present.”
That’s where I try to stay. Right here. Right now.
Come Back to Now
Not every moment will be perfect. Some days will feel chaotic and overwhelming. But in those moments, I’ve learned to ask myself:
- What can I control right now?
- What is the next right move?
It’s not about having everything figured out. It’s about trusting that showing up in the now—fully, authentically, and with intention—is enough.
So if you’re feeling stretched too thin…
If your brain is buzzing with “what ifs” and “should haves”…
Take a breath.
Come back to now.
And remember:
The power isn’t in perfection.
The power is in presence.
Last modified: April 14, 2025
