Written by 9:21 am Parenting

Use Difference to Unite: Parenting Through Unique Perspectives

women baking with child

Raising children is not a piece of cake.

Don’t ever let the “Betty Crocker” type moms tell you differently.

Even though some moms make it look easy, raising children can be difficult as hell; downright torturous at times—but most certainly the most rewarding job you will ever have. There’s many parenting books out there, but there is no one-size-fits-all regarding parenting.

As parents, we are tasked with the mission of molding our children into confident and capable people. But when abilities or personalities differ from those of ourselves, guiding them through childhood can be a whole different adventure!

Allowing each child to develop their own identity is truly invaluable in helping raise an individual who stands out for all the right reasons.
Learn How to Communicate With Your Uniquely Wired Kid
Even if some don’t admit it, every parent has expectations about what their child will be like. They may envision a mini version of themselves, with similar interests and personality traits.

Or they may expect a child to be more extraordinary or accomplish more than the parent may feel they accomplished. But when a child who is vastly different comes along, it can be challenging to adjust for the child and the parent.

One of the biggest challenges is communication. If your child has interests and hobbies different from yours, it can be hard to relate to them. You may struggle to find common ground and have trouble understanding their perspective.

This can make it challenging to build a strong relationship with your child. If you are a parent, especially a pre-teen or teenager, you have probably already heard that famous line leave your child’s lips: “you just don’t understand.”
How To Overcome Disappointment and Conflict in Parenting
Maybe that isn’t the right word to use, but sometimes you feel disappointed in the choices made or the path your child may have taken. Of course, as parents, we want our children to be happy and prosperous.

But it can be hard to accept when a child has different aspirations than us. For example, if you are a doctor and your child wants to pursue an art career, you may struggle to understand their decision. This can lead to tension and conflict in the relationship.

Many children aspire to be like one or both of their parents. However, It’s also important to remember that children have unique personalities. It’s not fair to expect them to be just like us. By imposing our values and beliefs on our children, we may limit their potential and hinder their personal growth.

So how can we overcome these difficulties? I wish I had all the answers, but I don’t believe anyone does. However, I have a few tips for you that can help you at least start to open your eyes and help bridge the gap.
Be Open-Minded
Keep an open mind and try to appreciate your child’s unique qualities, even if they differ from yours. This can help you build a strong relationship with your child.

When your child knows you love and support who they are, they will be more inclined to seek your guidance and advice.
Show Interest in Their Hobbies and Passions
Take the time to learn about your child’s interests and hobbies, even if they are not yours. Showing interest in what they enjoy can help you understand them better and foster a deeper connection.

You may often feel like you can’t “relate,” but are you actively trying to learn about their interests to at least be able to listen when they want to talk actively?

Communicate openly: It’s essential to communicate openly and honestly with your child.
Encourage them to share their thoughts and feelings and try to understand their perspective. As mentioned above, if you only want to communicate on your terms, you will miss many opportunities to bond.
Encourage Their Goals and Dreams
Your child’s goals and objectives may differ from yours, but supporting them is essential. Encourage them to pursue their passions and be their biggest cheerleader. There is nothing wrong with providing your thoughts and opinions when openly asked.

Coaching, mentoring, and guidance are all part of parenting but cannot be one-sided. You have to be willing to help them plan a road map for their dreams, not just your aspirations.
Respect Their Individuality
Remember that your child is their person with their unique qualities. Respect their identity and avoid imposing your values and beliefs on them. When you begin to accept your child for the person they are, you may start to notice that they are helping shape the next version of you as you continue to grow.
Embrace Your Child’s Unique Talents
Raising a child who is nothing like you can be challenging, but it can also be advantageous. By embracing your child’s differences and accepting them for who they are, you can help them grow into confident and well-adjusted individuals.

Likewise, they can reshape you and provide new life and depth.

Remember, your child is their own person, and it’s your job to support them in becoming the best version of themselves.

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Last modified: May 4, 2023