Not long ago, I found myself standing in my kitchen, thinking about how much had changed—not just in my life, but in me. And I’m not talking about promotions, paychecks, or polished resumes. I’m talking about the kind of growth you can feel in your bones—the kind that shows up in the way you parent, the way you partner, the way you lead, and the way you show up for yourself.

It wasn’t always this way.

In one of my earliest blog posts on SheHandlesIt, I wrote about the day I walked into my house, kicked the door open with my high-heeled shoe, and collapsed onto the floor in tears. Overwhelmed. Exhausted. Done.

That moment cracked something open in me.

I realized I had built an entire identity on “handling it”—fixing, doing, anticipating, pushing—because I assumed no one else would. And if I’m being honest, I wore that like a badge of honor.

But that day, something shifted. I knew I couldn’t keep running on empty. I started setting boundaries, learning to say no, and letting go of the belief that everything depended on me.

And here’s the wild part:
It wasn’t until I stopped doing so much… that I started becoming more of who I really am.

Rewriting the Rules of “Productivity”

For years, I operated with a kind of intensity that made everything feel like a race. Finish one task, move to the next. Keep the calendar packed. Stay ahead. Be everything for everyone.

But somewhere along the way, I started asking myself:
What if it’s not about how much I get done… but about how well I do what actually matters?

That question changed everything.

I realized that almost 80% of what I was doing—personally and professionally—had nothing to do with the life I was trying to build. It was busywork. Obligations. Tasks I took on because I didn’t trust anyone else would do it “as well as me.”

So I started shedding what didn’t serve.
I stopped measuring my value by my output.
And I gave myself permission to pause.

I traded 5AM punishing workouts for slower, more intentional movement—yoga followed by meditation, hikes that let me breathe, kayaking that cleared my mind.
I stopped cramming my calendar with back-to-back calls and started carving out space to sit in the grass with my daughter, grounding myself in what actually fuels me.

The urgency faded. The clarity returned.
And with it came a kind of power I’d never felt before—the power to choose how I show up.

Leading Without the Weight of the World

When I stopped carrying the weight of the world on my shoulders, something unexpected happened:

I actually got better at handling what did need to be handled.

I wasn’t constantly teetering on the edge, one question or decision away from snapping. I wasn’t spending all my energy putting out fires or micromanaging things that could’ve been handled without me.

Instead, I was calm. Clear. Present.

At work, that meant I could be a steady, positive force for my team. I had less decision fatigue. Fewer moments of “just let me do it myself.”
I empowered the people around me because I finally trusted them to lead too.

And at home?
I laughed more. Played more.
I didn’t need hours to decompress at night—I had the energy to be there for my kids, not just physically, but emotionally and mentally, too.

Signs You Might Need to Pause

If you’re wondering whether it’s time to take a step back…
here are a few signs I missed (until I couldn’t anymore):

• You can’t sit down on a Sunday evening to watch TV or play a board game with your family without feeling like you’re wasting time—because there’s always something more “productive” you should be doing.
• You feel like you’re one question, one request, or one small mishap away from breaking down in tears.
• Everyone turns to you to figure out “what’s next,” and you’re constantly the one carrying the invisible clipboard for every part of your life—home, work, school, and beyond.

If any of that hits home, I want you to hear this:

You don’t have to earn your rest.
You don’t have to prove your worth through your productivity.
And you’re allowed to pause—without everything falling apart.

Try This: One Small Shift Toward Stillness

If you’re constantly in motion, the idea of slowing down might feel impossible—or even irresponsible.
But it doesn’t have to be a full life overhaul.

Start with this:
Choose one moment this week to pause on purpose.
Not because you’ve earned it. Not because everything is finished.
Just because you can.

Maybe it’s sitting outside with your coffee instead of scrolling.
Maybe it’s leaving one task undone and choosing to breathe instead.
Maybe it’s closing your laptop and playing that board game with your kid—even if the laundry’s not folded.

You might be surprised what rises to the surface when you finally stop long enough to listen.

Because sometimes, the most strategic move isn’t another push forward.
It’s the stillness that brings you back to yourself.