When You Don’t Feel Like Yourself
I don’t like winter.
Actually, I despise it.
Not because I’m dramatic about the seasons, but because I don’t like being cold.
And more importantly, I don’t like who I am in it.
Winter is hard for me because I don’t feel like I get to be 100% me.
I’m an active person.
I love being outside.
I love kayaking.
I love hiking.
I love the sun.
And in the winter, that part of me disappears.
It feels like I have to hang up a piece of me in the coat closet until the season changes again.
This Winter Felt Longer Than Usual
The winter lasted too long this year; it literally just did not let up.
February hit, and instead of starting to feel like we were turning a corner, we got hit with storm after storm. Snow just kept dumping on us.
And if you live in the Northeast, you know.
By February, you are already wishing for March.
March makes you think of spring.
But this year, it just kept going.
Cold.
Gray.
Snow.
All the way into March.
And even into April, it still did not feel like it was breaking.
It was not until mid-April that I was finally able to take the kayak out.
You’re Not Alone in the Winter Funk
I know I am not alone in this.
I have read so many articles and blogs about seasonal depression and the winter blues, and the more I read, the more I realized how many people feel this way.
That feeling of being trapped.
Trapped indoors because it is too cold.
Not going out as much.
Not being as social.
And over time, it starts to chip away at you.
It is like cabin fever.
You want to get out.
You want to move.
You want to feel like yourself again.
But the weather does not really allow you to do the things that fill you up.
The Science Behind Seasonal Depression
If you don't believe me, there is actual science behind why it feels this way.
Seasonal depression, also known as seasonal affective disorder (SAD), is strongly tied to changes in light exposure.
When we spend less time outside, sunlight exposure drops, which impacts Vitamin D levels. Low Vitamin D has been linked to fatigue and mood changes.
Serotonin levels can decrease as well. That is the hormone that helps regulate mood and create a sense of well being.
Your circadian rhythm, your internal clock, can get thrown off. That is why you can feel more tired during the day and still struggle to rest at night.
And then there is the physical side.
When we are less active, our energy drops even more.
Movement creates energy.
So when movement decreases, fatigue increases.
And over time, all of this compounds.
Lower energy.
Lower mood.
Less motivation.
Until one day you wake up and think, why do I feel so off?
The Shift: I Stopped Letting Winter Control Me
For me, I have learned this about myself over time.
And this year, I made a different decision.
Not because winter suddenly got easier.
But because I was tired of letting it control how I felt.
I cannot control the weather.
But I can control how I respond to it.
Step One: Get Honest With Yourself
The first thing I had to do was get honest with myself about what actually happens to me in the winter.
My mindset shifts.
I get down, and then I shut down.
Instead of working out, I lounge on the couch.
Instead of going out, I convince myself it is better to stay home.
Instead of finding new things to fill my time, I just complain about not getting to do what I actually want to do.
And that cycle does not help anything.
It just reinforces the feeling of being stuck.
So this year, I called myself out on it.
Step Two: Redirect Your Time and Energy
The second thing I did was decide, intentionally, what I wanted to spend my time and energy on.
If I could not do the things I normally love, then what could I do that would still fuel me?
For me, it became something bigger.
I decided to use that time to build.
To build my brand.
To grow my business.
To network more.
To start planning events.
To finally begin creating the framework for my consulting work.
If I could not be out on the water, then I was going to make sure I was moving forward somewhere else.
Because I had big dreams.
I had big goals.
I had a life that I wanted to build.
There Is No One Right Way to Handle It
But here is the thing.
That worked for me.
Not because it is the “right” way, but because it was aligned with who I am and the season of life I am in.
For someone else, it might look completely different.
It might be planning a trip somewhere warm to break up the season.
It might be starting a new hobby that only exists in the winter months.
It might be committing to movement, even if it looks different than usual.
It might be being more intentional about social time instead of isolating.
The goal is not to force yourself into something that does not fit.
It is to recognize what is missing and replace it with something that still fills you up.
Coming Back to Yourself Feels Different When You Stay Intentional
And then, in mid-April, I finally got back out on the water.
As I slid my kayak in and the sun hit my face, I felt it almost immediately.
A sense of peace.
Gratitude.
Relief.
It felt like coming home.
But this time, it felt different.
Yes, I was back in my happy place.
Yes, I felt like myself again.
But there was something else there too.
A sense of accomplishment.
A sense of pride.
Because this time, I did not spend the winter waiting for this moment.
I did not shut down.
I did not let the season take me out the way it had before.
I stayed focused.
I stayed intentional.
I kept showing up for myself in a different way.
So when I got back on the water, I was not just returning to who I was.
I was stepping into something stronger.
And because of that, this spring feels earned.
Final Thought
If you have been feeling off this winter, you are not alone.
And you are not broken.
Sometimes it is not burnout.
Sometimes it is not lack of motivation.
Sometimes it is just the season you are in.
But here is what I have learned.
Even when you cannot control the season, you can still be intentional within it.
You can choose how you respond.
You can choose where your energy goes.
You can choose what you build.
Because every season, whether you love it or not, is shaping something.
And if you have been feeling like I have felt, a little off, a little stuck, not quite like yourself, I created something to help you move forward.
It is called Rooted & Rising, an experience designed to help you reconnect, get grounded in what you truly want, and step into your next season with intention.
If that resonates with you, you can learn more
here.
